French Flare In Yountville

Yountville is another must see small town about 10 miles from the heart of Napa's wine region. I have frequented Yountville and have realized that it is completely evolving into a California style French village. There is still alot of construction happening in Yountville, but if you are a visionary, you will see the French Village in the making right before your very eyes.

My Favorite Thing In The World

Music has always been a part of me, every chance I get I listen to music. As a child it was mostly when I was allowed to listen to the radio with my parents, then my uncle introduced us to a tape recorder and we listened to recorded music.

In my teens I discovered Albums, which are now referred to as vinyl and bought and listened to just about every artist and every song. Not to mentioned the fact, I taped all the songs and listened to my huge tape recorder with a headphone while I slept or daydreamed.

Thank God for the I-Pod, I think mine is just connected to me like an umbilical cord and I listen to it constantly. Shuffling, reorganizing, creating and uploading. It is probably one of the best things invented during my lifetime.

Breakfast For My Soul

I made an amazing breakfast for myself today because I needed soul therapy. Its funny sometimes the smallest things in life make me feel good and pleased with myself.

The breakfast was some left over baguette and local cream cheese and artichoke spread from our day trip to Napa, plus two scrambled eggs, a slice of tomato and a basil and of course olives plus a cup of tea. Don't let the presentation fool you, it was totally yummy and had me smiling the entire day.

Not Getting Any Sleep

Not getting any sleep or very little sleep, as we know it causes all types of health issues. But what if no matter how hard you try, you just can't sleep, you toss and turn and look at the clock and then toss and turn and try to breath and relax, it just doesn't work. What do you do then?

I have been dealing with insomnia for a while, it mostly comes about a week before my other most dreaded thing in life or when I just can't get things done. I spend the entire night grasping for air and staring at the ceiling. I try to avoid sleeping pills at all cost and end up using my i-pod as a means of finding peace and relaxation and neither work.

I just realized that I am actually becoming like my mother about my sleep habits. She, I thought couldn't sleep because she took medication and it messed up her system, but I don't take anything and I spend the same amount of time at night being awake as her. Funny thing is that I figured if I got a new bed (which was long overdue) I would be sound asleep, but that isn't even helping.

I wish I could afford a message or some sort of escape to relax my mind. It seems everything I do stresses me out these days (because I have a full plate) and there is no outlet to release the tension or the anxiety. So, I wait and wait and hope that once the "short sale" goes through on our home in Sacramento, and hopefully when I find a job, some of the stress and anxiety will disappear. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Napa and The Vines

This is a view of what you see all around Napa's countryside in February in between the rain and the fog. It is the most beautiful as the vines are completely black and lifeless surrounded by the mustard flowers all around. It is a must see if you visit California in late February.

Signs Of An Early Spring In California

I love this time of year, the in between California winter and Spring. I love walking, driving and touring around in order to find the trees and flowers in bloom and take pictures of them everywhere and anywhere.

The pictures I have are those I took around Napa this February. I usually go to Napa about six times a year and capture it's beauty in all seasons. Besides, going to Napa is one of the few things that make me truly happy and peaceful inside and I am not talking about the wine, that's for another story.

Airing America's Dirty Laundry

One of the most annoying things we do in this country is air our dirty laundry for the public to scrutinize and pass judgement on. It is a shame that we do this and who are we to judge and put blame on anyone?

The news of Tiger Wood and all the senators, athletes, celebrity and other public figures are currently plastered all over every newspaper, online news sites, television and other places encouraging us to take a vote, take sides and pass judgement. I just don't get it, are we that desperate for deterrence from what is really going on?

For once I would like to see important news being relayed to me, such as what good deeds people are doing around this country to get it back on its feet. How the schools are creating programs and ways to help our troubling education system. I would like to see rewarding community workers and a health plan that covers everyone in America no matter what circumstances they are faced with.

I am so tired and disappointed in this country and it's place in the world. I feel that the American dream has fizzled and we are on a downhill spiral and that no one seems to care or do anything to change our course and that in itself is our dirty laundry

There, I said my piece and I am done.

Gifts For Myself - Improving My Quality of Life

Not sure why but in January I decided to create a wish list of new things or changes I wanted to see in my life. One of the things I did was buy a monthly calendar so that I can log in what I wanted to accomplish each day and month, since I don't have a job or a purpose right now, it is really difficult to get going in order to accomplish tasks or anything for that matter.

Anyway, my list included getting rid of junk, clothes and old furniture, shred documents from years past that mean nothing to me and organize my photographs and consolidate my keepsakes. In addition, I realizes that I needed a new bed, a new laptop, my own personal camera, a face lift (haha) a new job, and a new car so I charted a course of action by listing each month which items I wanted to purchase or replace.

So, first off I needed a scanner because I decided instead of keeping files of paperwork around the house or a storage unit, I would scan and file everything, this includes all the pictures in my life. My first purchase item in January was a scanner.

In February, my husband and I, well mostly me, decided that it was time for us to buy a new bed. We have never had our own bed for the past 25 years. We slept on mine and had his in a spare room for guests. So on Valentine's Day (purely coincidental) we bought our first joint bed together. It felt good on delivery day to get the bed and lay on it. Even our dog loved it.

So for March, I am opting for a camera but not sure if that is more important than a laptop since it is a more useful and practical gift for myself. So stay tuned to find out what I decided to purchase in March.

Religion In A Nutshell

Every Sunday my mother tries to convince me to go to church with her and I gracefully decline. It used to upset her but now she just gives me a disappointed look and goes about doing her business.

Her belief is that the only way to get a full appreciation of God and religion is by physically frequenting a building with an alter and cross and a choir and worshipers and so on. My interpretation of religion and prayer is the feeling you have inside and the ability to pray when and wherever feels right and good. She doesn't see my point and I, although understand her old school thinking don't want to accept her views. So after I drive her to church every Sunday, I often take the long way home and walk along the beach and pray in my own special way.

One evening during holy week (week between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday) I decided to accompany her to church just to make her feel better and also because the services ran into the late hours of the night, I didn't want her to be there alone. Our faith is one of the oldest religions around and therefore every aspect of our christian worship is lengthy and beautifully orchestrated and requires complete patience and understanding.

I want to mention here that the last time I attended this particular service was when I was 14 years old because I found it boring and too long. So at the age of 48 I went with her, sat in the darkness and listened to the prayer exchanges among the clergy. There is a point in the service that my mother goes to the upstairs level so that she can pray without anyone around her. So we climbed the stairs, holding candles and sat alone away from everyone. I watched and listened to my mother read from the book along with the priest and deacons and choir and as they all prayed in unison, she tied a knot on a string, this process went on seven times on about 20 strings. I watched her, tears welled up in my eyes and I found myself completely mesmerized by what I saw, heard and I felt a strong pull inside me, which I cannot explain. It was there that I understood what my mother was trying to tell me all along.

My experience that Thursday night was the most surreal and weightless and it was there that I developed a whole new respect for my faith and religion. I don't attend church every Sunday but when I do, I completely engross myself in the experience and feel revived when I leave the worship place called church.

Spring Cleaning In Winter

One of the most dreaded choirs in life, Spring cleaning, came a bit too soon for me this year and seems to have lasted going on five months now. I want to see the end of it before Spring actually arrives.

Seven years ago, my crazy family had the notion that we could actually buy and maintain a house at this stage of our life. I didn't see the point but while taking a vote I was outvoted and so we ventured on the madness. *Must clarify that buying a home in San Francisco or the bay area is almost impossible as they are overpriced and undersized for growing (in height) families. So we decided to buy a house in Sacramento (YEAH).

Leaving that long story for another day, I am going to fast forward to today. We are now selling the house for more reasons than one and as a result I am faced with the soul responsibility of getting rid of all the junk we have accumulated during our lifetime. So this process started in late August 2009 and as of today, I am not done nor close to being done.

I have one question - why do we accumulate so much crap in our life and store them in boxes and more boxes and more boxes and pile them up in teh garage until there is no room to move and then contemplate on renting a storage place to store more things and than we decide to get more and more things and so on until we can actually open our own warehouse and sell all the junk that we have accumulated in our life just to make room for more junk to buy. Wow!!!

And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, for the last four months I have spend every weekend cleaning and dumping and shredding and donating and reboxing and downsizing and donating and dumping and I am not finished.

One piece of advise I can honestly give you, outside of photos, nothing else is of any importance or necessary to buy, store or hold on too. Having "stuff" around does not make for a happy life. It's the memories and the pictures that does all the work. So before you go out and buy and buy and buy more and store and box and store for your kids or for your self, think twice and remember none of it really really matters in the long run. Especially not in this day and age. Take it from me, I know

Temporary Working

Losing a job these days can be a strange awakening. In some cases it can

be good and others not so good. Most people react to losing their jobs in the most negative possible way and others tend to see it as an opportunity to do something new and perhaps better.

I am on the fence about it all. I recently lost my job and although knew it was coming in more ways then one, I wasn't scared when it happened. I felt that this would be an opportune time for me to find my calling and figure out how to get there. You see this isn't the first time I lost my job, it is actually my third time.

First time, I left my career/job on my own terms after 19 years of employment, the second time I was recruited and mislead by a company and the position I was hired for and as a result was let go, and the third time is of course now, downsizing and relocation.

From the three scenarios I learned the following:

1. Never remain in a career/job you did not choose for yourself for more than a year.

2. Do not make quick decisions to go with a privately owned company conjured up by a husband and wife team from a small town with no work ethics.

3. Don't fall back on a job in a dying industry.

The problem now is moving forward. I am at a crossroad because what I wanted to pursue as a career at five (acting) has now become more and more difficult to obtain at my age. Being jobless is not ideal for anyone but having a job that's unrewarding is even worse. So, although I apply for jobs here and there, nothing seems to make sense because a small voice inside me keeps saying follow your heart, but my bank account is saying follow your responsibilities. And so the story goes...

Feeling Unmotivated

I wonder what makes us feel unmotivated most times to do just about anything. I am having trouble determining whether I am confusing unmotivated with depression.

In my twenties, I seem to have the energy to do most anything no matter how difficult and redundant the task. Nothing got me down, I welcomed any challenge and handled it with utmost determination and perseverance. But now, everything I do or need to do I feel is not challenging enough nor important enough to handle. I often find myself talking me into doing what needs to be done and creating lists of things to do and not wanting to get them done.

I try to find out why this is the case. I look around me and see that most things in life have lost it's luster. Whether it be the job, partner, daily chores, driving a car, going to the same places, kids and their needs, siblings, society. There are now just a few things remaining that make me feel good about myself and I am worried that pretty soon that wont do either.

What does it take? How do we stay motivated and find joy in the repetitive and mundane things in our lives. I go back and think what was it that was so different at 20 versus now and I realize that we as human beings are much more optimistic about life at 20 then we are at nearing 50. We are so naive at 20 that every step of our life than is a new experience and challenge hence the motivation to do better and strive for more. I suppose life could have also been easier in the early 80's and not so much in 2010. I worry about it all.

I mean what will become of mankind if most people feel as I do? What can be done to reverse the damage of wisdom and find ways to feel vibrant and optimistic? This is the question of the day. I am looking forward to some insight and hopefully someone can share their views with me.

A Happy Day In L.A.

During my stay in LA, my husband surprise visited me with Max and we spend the entire weekend visiting all the hot spots and hanging out like the locals.

The pic I included is of one of my favorite cafes called Urth Cafe on Beverly Blvd. They have a wonderful organic coffee and menu. You can see alot of stars too while you eat your meal. The dowside is if you have a dog, you are restricted to one corner of the restaurant and the wait time is upwards of an hour sometimes, even after ordering your meal. But the ambiance is worth every penny. Just be careful you don't get a ticket parking around the neighborhood, signs can be tricky.

Living In Los Angeles

In 2007 I had the wonderful opportunity of living in Los Angeles because of my work. No, I regret to say, it wasn't making movies. I had a nine month contract with a previous employer of mine to go down to LA and close a retail shop for his company. As a result of my expertise, I obliged and happily went. After all it was an all expense paid time to study the place I always dreamed of moving to and so the journey began.

On the flight to LA, I began to reflect upon the time my parents decided to move to the United States from the Middle East. Once the decision was finalized, I ran to the corner of the living room where I always hid from the world and cried to myself. I was sick to my stomach to know we were going to move and leave everything and everyone behind. I smiled because 35 years later, I jumped when I was told I had to live in LA and as the plane descended over LA, I knew there was nowhere else I would rather be and no one I was truly going to leave behind. I was finally home, temporarily and hopefully permanently.

The pics I included are of the street and place I lived during my stay. It was a wonderful street in Los Feliz neighborhood. Charming, artistic and extremely surreal. At least to me.